Well, it is officially a new year, so Michelle and I thought it would be the perfect time to dust off the old blog site. Instead of this being strictly a ministry blog, we’ve decided to make it a blog about our family and also ministry here in the High Country. Being so removed from most of our friends (in Charlotte and elsewhere), this will be a great way for us to keep everyone “up” on things here with us. We hope you enjoy!
I knew it was a girl. I was sure of it.
I shook my head with a yes, eyes squinted with all seriousness, as I looked at the ultrasound tech and said, “It’s a girl, I know.” At that point she looked at me and laughed, chin up in the air and everything. My face must have certainly expressed confusion, as she said, “There’s too many parts to be a girl – it’s a boy!” At that point, Joshua (who was tending to the two other kids in the brood with his back turned), heard the “it’s a boy” part as if he had been standing right by my side. He walked over and said, “Wait, what?” And I, humbled and extremely surprised, had tears of joy and excitement in my eyes as she showed me what she called a “pretty scrotum.”
Needless to say – we are so excited for a boy! Connor will have a little brother to be home with when Kaelyn starts school this August, and Kaelyn will love anyone she can take care of, so we feel abundantly blessed. Its funny, however, I am a little saddened that he is a he and not a she. I set myself up for us to have another little girl, for Kaelyn to have a little sister, and for Josh to have one more little girl. I only thought of girl names (although I would never admit any of this prior) and I was excited to pull out all of Kaelyn’s baby stuff that I haven’t looked at in five years. Not to sound super extreme or hormonal, I’m almost mourning someone I never met. Perhaps, the weirdest thing for me is that my SURE ‘gut’ feeling was wrong. Either way, as I retrain myself to think blue and not pink, I feel like this is one more lesson I can learn. One more thing to let me know how not in control I am and how God usually doesn’t work how I expect or think He will.
Most of you know, Feb 6, 2011 we moved to the mountains of N.C. It was the hardest thing I have had to do since I have been walking with the Lord. It was a true surrender to His will, in a decision where my will was anything but His. Fast forward 370 days later, and some days I can’t even remember why it was so hard to move in the first place. We sometimes spend so much time and energy looking for BIG meaning in things that happen to us in life. I hoped at one time we would get up here and our church would grow immediately and I would make friends immediately and we would be so busy doing ministry immediately. It did not happen like that in the least. I even felt like we were back-peddling at times. Now, we are seeing some of these things are starting to come – yay for friends and growth, ALL glory to God! I see God’s perfect timing and I am thankful. The past year he has made our little family so tight-knit, that I feel if this was the only purpose of us moving up here, it was more than worth it. There is so much more to this, but I feel like since I am such a work in progress, I’ll stop there.
I take all this space up in the world of blogging just to say (even if just to me): stop trying to figure it all out. If you are walking with God, then He is in control and not you. Before I fill in the rest of this space with a bunch of cliche sayings like ‘let go and let God’ or ‘grow where you are planted’, I’ll leave you with this: